Weddings in India: four days of rituals and celebration

Weddings in India are spectacular events that often span four days, filled with rituals, vibrant colors and curious celebrations. Each ceremony has its own meaning and symbolism, creating a rich tapestry that celebrates the union of two souls.

Today I accompany you on a journey to discover the Hindu rite weddings and the most important rituals that take place during these days, as well as a glimpse of the cultural variations across the states of India.

Arranged weddings or weddings for love?

In India, weddings can be classified into two main types: arranged weddings and weddings for love. The arranged weddings (Arranged marriages have been a tradition for centuries and are still common, especially in communities where the opinion of the family is valued and the union is intended to strengthen social and economic alliances. In this type of marriage, parents and relatives play a crucial role in selecting the right partner, based on factors such as caste, horoscope and family compatibility.

On the other hand, the weddings for love (love marriages) are gaining popularity, especially in urban areas and among the younger generation. These weddings arise from relationships where the couple has met and decided to marry by mutual agreement, prioritizing emotional connection and mutual understanding. Although they may face social challenges, love weddings are becoming increasingly accepted, reflecting a shift in the traditional mindset and evolving family values in modern India.

Matchmakers or the famous matchmakers

At present, the matchmakers and the marriage agencies play a vital role in the organization of the arranged weddings. The matchmakers, known as "matchmakers"are traditional figures who have been facilitating unions for generations, using their in-depth knowledge of families and communities to find compatible partners. These experts not only consider horoscope and caste compatibility, but also education, interests and family values.

In parallel, the marriage agencies have modernized this process, offering digital platforms and personalized services to find the perfect match. These agencies combine technology and tradition, allowing families to search for prospects that meet specific criteria while adapting to modern times. Agencies and matchmakers help maintain the essence of arranged weddings while offering broader and more personalized options for families.

If you are interested in this topic...there is a very interesting series on Netflix by the name of "The Matchmakers".

Let's get down to business! We already have a bride and groom (either arranged or by love) and let's get to the details of the Wedding :)

How to choose a wedding date: The Influence of the Moon

In Hindu culture, the choice of the wedding date is a very careful process based on astrology. The pundits, play a crucial role in this decision. They use a lunar calendar and the bride and groom's natal charts to determine the 'muhurat' or auspicious moment, which marks the most propitious day and time to perform the ceremony.

• New and full moon: Weddings are usually scheduled on days close to the full moon or new moon, as these moments are considered to bring good luck and positive energy.
• Favorable days: Special Dates: In addition to astrological calculations, certain dates, such as Hindu festivals (e.g., Akshaya Tritiya or Makar Sankranti), are seen as especially auspicious for weddings and are therefore very popular for celebration.

The commitment

Once the two families agree and accept the marriage, then the engagement party is held, in which rings are exchanged and the bride's family must give jewelry and money to the couple and the future husband's family.

Normally, the engagement party is organized by the bride's parents and held at their home, although this may vary depending on families and traditions.

The wedding

Day 1: Preparations and offering

Ganesha Puja Ritual

The celebration begins with the Ganesha Puja, a ritual that invokes the god Ganesha, the remover of obstacles. Before any ceremony, prayers and offerings are made to ensure that the event runs smoothly. This ritual is fundamental as it sets the auspicious tone for the following days.

Day 2: Pre-Wedding Ceremonies

Ritual of Haldi (Turmeric)

The second day is marked by the ritual of Haldi. The bride and groom receive an application of a paste made of turmeric. This ritual is not celebrated as a couple but separately in their respective homes and with their families and friends.

This ritual has a deep cultural and symbolic meaning:

• Purification: Haldi is believed to purify the body and soul of the couple.
• Beauty: Turmeric is associated with a radiant glow on the skin.
• Protection: It is considered to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck.

Haldi Ritual Process:

1. Preparations: A space is decorated with flowers and other auspicious elements. The bride/groom sits in the center, surrounded by family members.
2. Paste Application: Friends and family apply the turmeric paste on the bride/groom's skin, generating laughter and fun.
3. Songs and Music: Traditional songs full of humor and joy are sung.
4. Blessings: Family elders bless the couple, wishing them happiness.
5. Ritual Bath: The bride/groom bathes to remove the paste, symbolizing cleanliness and preparation.

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After the Haldi ritual, the Mehndi ceremony takes place ,where the bride adorns her hands and feet with intricate and beautiful henna designs. This ritual celebrates beauty and love, and it is believed that the darker the color of the henna, the greater the husband's love for his wife. Women from both families and their friends gather to enjoy music and dance and also adorn their hands with Mehndi/Henna designs.

This celebration is like a bachelorette party for the bride.

Sangeet

The evening concludes with the Sangeet, a music and dance party that unites the families of the bride and groom. This event is crucial to break the ice between the families and allows everyone to enjoy and celebrate together. Performances may include traditional dances, live songs and, in some cases, modern and somewhat westernized celebrations.

Day 3: The Wedding Ceremony

The wedding day has arrived!

Baraat

The groom usually arrives at the wedding venue on horseback, elephant or in a decorated vehicle and followed by family and friends in a very joyful and festive procession.

Milni

This is the moment when the bride's family welcomes the groom's relatives and greets them with typical (and very sweet hehehehe) sweets and garlands. Both families unite and accept the future union. At this point, they return to do the Puja to Ganesh to make sure that he will remove the obstacles and everything will go well.

Kanyua Aagaman

The first to enter the Mandap (area decorated with flowers and many garlands) is the groom where he will wait for the arrival of his future wife. Then happens the Kanyua Aagaman, that moment when the father of the bride accompanies his daughter and enter to meet the future husband. At this moment, the white curtain that separates them is removed and precious garlands are exchanged, here the ceremony begins.

In the Mandap, only the main participants are seated, i.e. the bride and groom, their parents and the pandit who officiates the celebration.

Kanyadaan

The ritual of Kanyadaan. This is one of the most emotional moments of the ceremony, where the father of the bride gives his daughter to the groom, who pours blessed water over the daughter's hand and joins it with the groom's hand. This act symbolizes the transfer of responsibility and the beginning of a new life for the bride, full of meaning and emotion.

This ritual is performed after the groom engages with his future bride in the three most important phases of life: Dharma (religious duty), Artha (wealth and prosperity) and Kama (pleasure).

Vivaha homa

In this ritual the Pundit lights the sacred fire for the puja while reciting a mantra in Sanskrit and offerings are made to the fire.

Mangal Palla

After Kanyadaan, the bridegroom places a mangal palla (a decorated veil) over the bride, symbolizing their union and the beginning of their life together. This ritual is visually beautiful and marks the bride's acceptance into the groom's family.

Saat Phere

One of the most important rituals is the 'Saat Phere', where the couple circles seven times around a sacred bonfire. Each lap symbolizes a commitment that the couple makes to each other:

1. First Phera: Commitment to nurture each other.
2. Second Phera: Promise of prosperity and well-being.
3. Third Phera: Commitment to raise children together.
4. Fourth Phera: Promise to take care of each other in all aspects.
5. Fifth Phera: Commitment to be faithful to each other.
6. Sixth Phera: Promise to always support each other and be together.
7. Seventh Phera: Commitment to be partners in all aspects of life.

The bonfire represents the sacred fire that purifies the union and the presence of the divine.

Sindoor and Mangal Sutra

Then, the groom applies sindoor (a red powder) in the bride's hairline and places the 'mangal sutra', a necklace symbolizing her married status and the spiritual connection between the two. This act is significant because it establishes the bride's identity as a wife and strengthens their bond.

Aashirvad

Finally, the ceremony concludes with a ritual of Aashirvad, where the elders of both families bless the couple, wishing them happiness and prosperity in their new life together. This ritual reinforces the sense of community and family support that are so important in Hindu weddings.

Day 4: Post-Wedding Celebrations

Bidaai

. The fourth day begins with the 'Bidaai'The ceremony is a deeply emotional ritual in which the bride bids farewell to her family. She is welcomed into the groom's family, symbolizing her transition to a new life. This moment is often bittersweet, filled with tears of joy and sadness, as it represents change and the beginning of a new chapter.

Reception (Maharas)

The celebration culminates with the 'Maharas', the reception where friends and family gather to celebrate the new union. This event is spectacular, with elaborate decorations, live music and a banquet that reflects the culinary diversity of the region. During this party, the couple receives blessings and good wishes, and becomes the center of attention as they share their happiness with everyone present.

Typical Indian wedding attire

The dress at Hindu weddings is a reflection of the cultural richness and symbolism surrounding these ceremonies.

The bride, usually wears a sari , lehenga exquisitely decorated, usually in traditional colors such as red, gold or pink. Red is particularly symbolic, representing love, prosperity and fertility. Intricate embroidery and applications of gold or precious stones enhance the beauty of the attire. In addition, the bride wears elaborate jewelry, including necklaces, earrings, bracelets, anklets and a mangalsutra, which is a special necklace symbolizing marriage. In many regions, the bride also wears a maang tikka (a piece of jewelry that is placed on the forehead) and a nath (nasal ring).

For his part, the groom usually wears a sherwani, which is a long and elegant garment that reaches the knees and is decorated with embroidery and refined details. Colors vary, but gold, ivory and navy tones are common. In addition, the groom wears a turban adorned, which may include a brooch or feather as a sign of distinction. At some weddings, the groom also carries a ceremonial sword called the talwar, symbolizing protection and the responsibility to take care of his future wife.

Wedding attire changes slightly depending on the region of India. For example, in Rajasthan, attire tends to be even more colorful and rich in details specific to the Rajputa culture, with heavy fabrics and intricate decorations reflecting the royal and warrior heritage of the region.

Diversity in Wedding Celebrations in India

Hindu weddings vary considerably from state to state, with each region bringing its own culture and traditions to the celebration. Here are some notable variations:

• Punjabi Weddings: Known for their grandeur and vibrant music, Punjab weddings include rituals such as the 'Dholki', where the bride usually wears a bright red dress, and the celebrations are loud and energetic.
• Gujarat Weddings: In Gujarat, a ritual is performed called the 'Griha Shanti', where a purification ceremony is performed in the home. Folk dances such as the Garba and Dandiya are popular during celebrations.
• South Indian weddings: In states such as Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh, weddings are more traditional, often with rituals that include the use of a kankana (a sacred thread) and fire ceremonies. Brides usually wear richly embroidered silk saris.
• Bengal weddings: Bengali weddings are known for their unique rituals, such as the 'Aiburobhat', a special meal served to the bride before the wedding. The decoration usually includes elements of nature and fresh flowers.
• Marwari Weddings: In Rajasthan, marwari weddings are elaborate and colorful, with rituals like the 'Bhat Khana', where the groom's family serves an opulent banquet to the guests as a symbol of hospitality and representing their status.

Each of these celebrations not only highlights India's cultural diversity, but also strengthens family and community ties.

The Influence of Castes on Hindu Weddings

The social structure in India has traditionally been organized in a caste system, known as the caste system. Varna. Although the caste system has been abolished since 1949, it still plays an important role in social and marital life, including weddings. Here are some key aspects of how caste influences Hindu weddings:

Choice of Partner

• Endogamy: People usually marry within their own caste. This principle of endogamy ensures that customs, traditions and cultural values are maintained. Although the trend is changing with urbanization and education, it is still common for families to seek partners within their own caste.
• Family Reputation: Caste families considered "high status" may be more selective in choosing a son or daughter-in-law, seeking to maintain their social and economic reputation. This may lead to the search for matches that are not only culturally compatible, but also of similar status.

Ceremonies and Rituals

• Specific Rituals: Each caste has its own rituals and traditions during weddings. For example, Brahmin caste weddings often include rituals of pure spiritual symbolism, while Kshatriya caste weddings may focus more on family pride and honor.
• Clothing and Decoration: The standards of dress, type of jewelry and decoration of the venue may also vary according to caste. Higher caste weddings often feature greater ostentation in dress and decoration, reflecting their social status.

Wedding Cost

• Wedding Expenses: The more affluent caste families tend to spend more on wedding celebrations, organizing elaborate events that can last several days. This includes lavish decorations, large banquets and live entertainment, reflecting their economic and social status.
• Endowments: In many communities, the dowry system remains a common practice. The bride's families may be pressured to provide a substantial dowry, which often includes money, goods or property. This aspect varies by caste and region.

Social Expectations

• Social Norms: Expectations about behavior and gender roles during and after the wedding may also differ by caste. In some castes, the bride may be seen as responsible for maintaining the household and family values, while in others, the couple may be more equal in their division of roles.
• Social Interactions: Castes can influence the social interactions during the wedding. For example, at some high status weddings, certain guests are expected to behave in a formal and respectful manner, while at lower caste weddings, the atmosphere may be more relaxed.

Changes in the Caste System

Despite the continuing influence of caste on Hindu weddings, especially in rural areas, modernization and globalization have led to significant changes:

• Intercaste: Intercaste marriages: More and more couples are choosing to marry outside their caste, which has led to an increase in intercaste marriages. This challenges traditional norms and reflects a shift towards greater acceptance of social diversity.
• Education and Urbanization: As people move to urban areas and gain education, love marriages and personal compatibility are becoming more common, regardless of caste considerations.
• Legislation: The Indian Constitution prohibits discrimination based on caste, and there is a growing social movement advocating equality and respect in all forms of marriage.

Dowry at Hindu Weddings

The dowry, or dahej, is a historical cultural practice of Hindu weddings that involves the giving of goods, money or property from the bride's family to the groom's family. Although it is a controversial issue and has been the subject of criticism and reform, it is still a reality in many Hindu communities, especially in more conservative communities.

Below I will tell you more about this topic in a schematic way to make it easier for you to understand:

Tradition and expectations

• Cultural origin: Dowry has its roots in ancient Hindu traditions, where it was considered that the bride's family should contribute to the welfare of the new household. However, over time, the practice has become a social expectation, often resulting in economic pressures on the bride's family.
• Cultural differences: Expectations about dowry vary among regions and castes. In some communities, dowry may be a simple arrangement, while in others it may be extremely high and elaborate, reflecting the social and economic status of the family.
• Inequalities: The practice of dowry can perpetuate gender and economic inequalities, often stripping the bride's families of significant resources. This has led to an increase in cases of domestic violence and abuse against women who cannot meet these expectations.
• Reform movements: Over time, there has been a growing movement against dowry, driven by human rights and feminist organizations. Legislation in India, such as the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961, prohibits the practice, but its implementation remains a challenge.

Challenges and changes

• Education and empowerment: As women gain more education and economic autonomy, there is a gradual shift in the perception of dowry. Many families are beginning to see the value of empowering women and wanting their daughters to have independence, rather than simply meeting dowry expectations.
• Success stories: There are numerous cases of couples who have decided to reject dowry, choosing instead to celebrate their union on the basis of love and compatibility, thus defying traditional norms.

They were happy and they ate...Tandoor chicken?

Hindu weddings are a multidimensional experience that goes beyond a simple marriage union. Each ritual is steeped in symbolism and tradition, from the selection of the auspicious day to the ceremonies that mark the beginning of a new life together.

These weddings are a vibrant reflection of India's culture, tradition and history. Although the caste system still influences many aspects of these celebrations, society is constantly evolving, and more and more people are defying traditional norms to celebrate love, equality, and togetherness in ways that are meaningful to them and keeping traditions alive while opening up to new perspectives. The beauty of Hindu weddings lies in their diversity, and each ceremony tells a unique story of love, family and community.

I hope you enjoyed this article about weddings in India and I hope you have the opportunity to enjoy one someday :)